Occasionally I’ll organize my brain-spewing around some sort of theme. I like to call these special features, mostly because the phrase evokes a homey diner with weird vinyl seats and an unbelievable proficiency at making eggs. Now, if you want these features with a side of hash browns or bottomless cups of coffee, you’ll need to provide them yourself… but hopefully you’ll still find this selection to be delicious. Enjoy.
Connecting The Dots: With the 24-hour news cycle and the ubiquitous streams of constantly-updating info, media outlets sometimes don’t have the time (or wherewithal) to connect the dots between discrete news items. This several-times-monthly feature hopes to bring together some of those stories into a cohesive, comprehensible whole… all with a bonus snappy closing sentence.
Giving A Shit: Like all you, I get riled up about plenty of things that probably don’t matter too much, but I also find very little interest in certain things about which I’m supposed to care. GAS is a biweekly roundup of what, exactly, is going on out there, and whether or not they’re worth your shit-giving capabilities.
Misreading The News: Let’s be honest; sometimes, we just don’t have time to read beyond the headlines. Sometimes, though, those headlines can be very easily misinterpreted if you don’t take the time to read the whole story and give yourself the necessary context. And if you don’t even have the time to read the headlines, fear not: I’m here to read and misinterpret them, so you don’t have to!
Retro Squizz: If these features constitute a greasy spoon diner, then these posts are hamburgers, the club sandwiches, the milkshakes — the nice, fallback options that may not be the best tasting or the freshest, but they’ve been on the menu forever. In other words, old posts from my old blog.
Spamtastic: Oh, there’s so much that auto-generated spam comments have to teach us. This is my way of sharing that knowledge with you.
Squizz Says: There are countless “advice columnists” out there, more than willing to give personal guidance to anyone and everyone who asks them a silly question. But if these questioners are willing to abdicate responsibility for their own decision-making to some stranger, why shouldn’t it be me? Hey wait, it should! (In other words, I answer advice-columnist questions in a much better fashion).